Finding Our Intuition Beyond a Sea of Worry
The Intuitive Woman Waking Up Series
Photo by Petch_A_Ratana
**Even if you don’t have time to read this whole article, please jump to the end for a special offer.
I want to talk to you about intuition, so naturally I’m going to start somewhere completely different.
My dad was a bully. His moods were mercurial, leading to demands that were often illogical and downright unattainable. Living with him normalized the absence of any sense of childhood safety and put into place some extremely ridiculous roles for a kid learning how to relate to the world. Without a doubt, I’ve spent my life unraveling the many oddities that made their way into my psyche and my behaviors.
But it was also the birthplace of my intuition.
No, it wasn’t that epic or bird-controlling, but it was fairly life-saving for me. Did my father consciously teach me about my guidance? Nope. Not even close, though I do suspect some of his deep-seated anxiety and distrust of others–hell, even his fever-pitch worry regarding the basic flow of life’s events–was probably the result of a heightened capacity for intuition with absolutely no framework to understand it.
Growing up in his administration was like being immersed in a constant pool of danger stories. He was always on guard, believing harm was lurking around every corner (don’t even get me started on the firearms stashed around our house or the wildly inappropriate age I was first introduced to weapons–though it was probably the direct cause of my deep, addicted love for action movies). This filter that he saw the world through made him deeply fearful, and that made him more than just a bully as he sought to feel powerful in a scary world–it also made him extremely manipulative.
As a result, from a very young age I began looking inward for anything that could help me navigate the rough waters in my home–particularly before they began. I used to spring out of bed and run into the kitchen, somehow knowing that there was a brief window of time available to shift the road he was already going down. I would beg my mother to stop what she was doing and go make their bed. I knew if she got it done quick enough we might have a fairly peaceful breakfast, and that was like nectar to me. When he was outside working in the yard, my inner sense regularly told me not only what mood he was going to bring inside to us afterward, but what could soften his jagged edges as well.
So, yeah, I am deeply grateful now for all the early years that super-charged my intuition, but eventually I found it had created a conundrum in me that I see many others struggling with as well.
My soft-wiring for danger and avoidance of suffering meant I had to unlearn the idea that my intuition existed largely to protect me from harm. I say soft-wiring because our hard-wiring is the innate brilliance of our phenomenal Being and even the most industrious parent can’t truly touch that. They just help ensure–even with the best intentions–that we have a lot of layers on top of our magic (think: the puffy kid from A Christmas Story). It is exactly those layers that make it so hard to move our experience of our intuition past the classic cultural value system of avoiding-the-bad-stuff so we can be super duper happy.
But our intuition–our guides–don’t give a hoot about whether something seems good or bad. They are here to support each of us in living the unique life we came here to live. Full stop. For example, if one of the things you came here to experience is what it is to receive from others, then you might think your intuition isn’t being particularly helpful if you are struggling to get your money situation to flourish. That situation likely feels awful to your most socially designed self. But I guarantee you that in this situation your guides are not only fully showing up for you, they are also peacefully pleased because they will always guide you toward what is meant for you on the deepest, truest level (As an aside, that doesn’t have to show up in your life as failed businesses and never-enough money. Leaning into the essence of the truth can free the energy to show up in more easeful ways, like allowing someone to gift you something without trying to even it out by gifting back–but that is a whole other topic to explore at another time!).
It is our personal narrative that something should be different than it is that always confuses things and clouds our hearing of our intuition.
This is why it is so crucial to recognize our suffering-avoidance inclinations and how we are leaning on our intuition to essentially guide us around our perceived land-mines.
Developing our intuition must always be paired with a kind of dismantling of the fear-based social-self. Looking at the panicky narratives that we so quickly wrap around our oh-so-neutral guidance is challenging–and crucial. If we are coming from a place of anxiety and attachment to outcome, it can be terribly hard to hear our intuition speak. And it does. Always, and a lot. In fact, the phrase developing intuition (which I admit I’ve used in the past and sometimes still do) is technically quite misleading.
Our intuition never needs developing. It has been functioning quite well for us ever since our birth. It is us who need developing. Learning to move away from hearing with the ear that our culture uses–the one that is addicted to avoiding discomfort and going instead for the showy, marketing-friendly achievements. Moving instead toward the ear that listens for the calm, almost disinterested sounding Voice. The one that has no rush to it, no panic tone. Just a sense of this is just what is. That’s how we will each–-and, beautifully, together–find our connection to our guidance, and the cool thing is She’s already there. Just hanging out. Speaking in a tone we have mostly forgotten how to listen for.
Perhaps you find yourself leaning in at this idea, or maybe you’ve noticed a delicious little ripple under your skin somewhere. If so, you’re feeling the stirring of your YES, and here are a few tools you can use to deepen that connection in yourself.
Any of these can be a journal prompt, a thought to take into the yard under the whispering trees, or explored on a long walk.
Ask yourself: what did my parents teach me was unsafe in the world?
Then really scan your life. Notice where you are living that teaching. You don’t have to fix it or even work on it. Just notice.
Then if you feel ready to offer yourself a different resonance, take a breath and say (while holding the feared subject(s) as a part of your statement):
I am entitled to all of the life that is meant for me.
Say this a few times, as slowly as you need in order to to feel a connection to the words. This is about connecting you to the You who came here for a unique beautiful life, and this is the resonance your intuition uses when it communicates. You might be surprised what you notice after.Think about a situation in your life that you really don’t like and really wish were different. Then imagine yourself very much immersed in it, whatever it is. For example, if your business isn’t going gang-busters, let yourself fully feel what that’s like for you and the part of you that hates the situation and believes something is wrong. Try to sum it up in a single sentence why it’s not what you want. Give yourself the freedom to be really blunt. Now notice what you are feeling in your body. Describe it in your head, but don’t try to write about it until you’ve experienced whatever sensations are there for you. Again, there’s nothing to do but notice. Sit with that unwanted situation (without problem-solving it, if you can) until you feel almost bored with it.
Then, take a deep breath and say whatever version of this works for your situation (the business, the love, the friendships, etc):
I am entitled to the ______________ that is meant for me.
Repeat this as many times as you’d like, as long as you can stay connected to the words. Notice what your body feels like as you do.
You’ll notice that both of these exercises do not rely on addressing the actual thing that is causing unhappiness–that is something that can be done with thought work if the thought feels particularly committed to regular visits.
These exercises are about giving you an opportunity to experience yourself choosing to step away from the something-is-wrong thinking and shift instead into the part of You that deeply trusts that you not only came here for a reason, but also that your life-path is imbedded within You–it just needs to be remembered. It’s the part that knows you have guidance and that everything in your life is always moving you toward more freedom and expansion. And while your Guides will probably vibe to you as completely neutral, your alignment with them will likely feel like anything but. Every person’s experience is different, but for me personally, every time I get a YES from my guides my response is the most delicious full body chill that always has me saying, “I am IN.”
That’s my story, and I can’t wait to hear what yours is! If you feel the inclination please share what comes up for you in the comments below–I’d love to hear!
AND I would like to gift you a free (75 minute) Meet Your Intuition session to introduce you to this work and support you on your intuitive journey. Follow this link to learn more and schedule your free session:
https://www.asyouarecoaching.com/the-intuitive-woman-waking-up
This work is part of the Intuitive Woman Waking Up Journey–a one-on-one intuition evolving series that deepens your experience of how your intuition communicates with you AND who you are when you meet it. Despite the gendered-sounding name, I believe The Intuitive Woman is actually an archetype that already exists fully formed in the collective. As each of us aligns ourselves more with Her resonance, we will find She is not only awakened in us individually, but also in this world that oh so desperately needs Her. Care to join me on this adventure?
And if you feel the pull, please follow this link: https://www.asyouarecoaching.com/share-your-intuition-story to share your personal story about your walk with your intuition, and find more information about how normalizing conversation around this subject can serve to help build a community rooted in our unique and shared magic.
Nancy Wright is a Wayfinder Life Coach who is passionate about helping people connect more deeply to their intuition and find more freedom inside themselves. She leans happily into thought-work, client-led dream analysis, and somatic work for people who hate somatic work. Her cat audits most sessions. Find her at www.asyouarecoaching.com